Friday, May 23, 2014

Chapter 3. What have been your guided tours so far? Who has guided them?

3.       What have been your guided tours so far?  
          Who has guided them?



Now I am encouraging you to examine your life so far.  Begin with the earliest memories you have.  To help spark and refresh some of your memories you may want to take out whatever family photo albums, movies, video tapes or boxes or trays of slides you have in your closets or drawers.  Maybe your mother kept scrapbooks from your family trips.

Another source of memories may be journals: yours or other family member’s.

If you are reading this book today somewhere where none of these items are available you might do the following: make lists of family, friends, fellow workers, bosses, teachers, neighbors, classmates and use your lists to help you recall your memories.

First make single lists of each of these categories of people from your life.  List all relatives from your birth family or your married family or married families if you have been married more than once.  List your friends from different parts or stages of your life each by specific age or decades or part of your life.  List as many fellow workers from your various jobs as you can.  List all your bosses.  If you work with clients for your employer or as an independent professional list clients.  Create as many lists as you can.  Keep these lists with you because they will be helpful in examining your journeys and trips.

Begin by organizing your memories by the following periods of your life you have experienced so far.

family in general
a.         birth to 5 years old
b.         6 to 12
c.         teen years
d.         twenties
e.         thirties
f.         forties
g.         fifties
h.         sixties
i.         seventies

school years
a.         pre-school
b.         kindergarten through the fifth grade
c.         middle school or junior high
d.         high school
e.         college or technical school
f.         since beginning work

friends

work

neighborhood(s)

sports and hobbies

Usually doing the gathering or collecting or the listing exercise will help refresh old memories to make them easier to review and analyze.  My hope is that the majority of your memories will be happy ones.  When sad or very bad memories come back accept them as part of your life put them aside as a separate list and focus on the good and happy memories.

Now list vacations, trips, journeys you have taken in your life.  Start with family vacations as a child, then as a teenager and as a young adult and also as an adult if you vacation with family members.  Where did you and your new spouse honeymoon?  Where did you go as a young couple before you had children?  Where did you go with your children when they were very young, school age, junior high, high school.

Follow that list with a list of journeys or trips you have taken with friends and organize them in chronological order.  These could have lasted from a couple hours to days or weeks.  You and your friends may have gone on bicycle rides together to playgrounds, a public pool, the beach, a local mall, an amusement park.  You may have gone on bus, subway, train or taxi rides.  You also may have gone to camp for the entire summer or several summers together.

Create a list of trips or journeys you may have taken with other family members outside of your immediate or nuclear family.  The journeys may have been to their homes on the other side of town, to their farm, to another city, state or country where they lived.

Add a list of trips and journeys you have taken with fellow workers or employees.

Take the time to create as many lists as you can.  I believe you will find this a fun experience.  Yes some of the memories may rekindle sadness or pain.  I am sorry for that.  Whenever I do this it does the same.  I try to remind myself if I still tear up or feel sad it demonstrates how much that I truly loved that person or those people or the anger I may still have.  If it brings up feelings of anger and frustration take an extra moment or two to think about why it has and then write down 6 to 12 reasons for why it is good to feel the anger.  You will probably discover some old or new meanings related to the pain and frustration.

Our lives are all filled with many rich experiences and I am encouraging you to do these exercises to help you remember and collect them to use to help you create the next journey in your life.

After gathering and writing your lists it is time to examine them for some learnings.

Take up a different colored pen and write notes next to each trip or journey.  Who guided the specific trips or journeys?  Was it a relative, friend, fellow worker or you? Or was the trip or journey done completely spontaneously without a guide at all?

Following noting who the guides have been review all of your guides to look for a pattern or patterns.

Was your mother or father usually the guide?  Was one of your brothers or sisters?  Was a particular friend or type of friend?  Were you the guide?  Were the trips or journeys guideless?

What might this knowledge indicate to you?

Has your life been guided most of the time or spontaneous or even temporarily aimless?  Were there specific reasons or purpose for the trips and journeys?  Were the reasons for fun, learning, to fulfill obligations to someone else, for learning?

When you examine your various trips and journeys when did they begin to become conceived, planned and implemented by you?  Have there been only certain types of trips or journeys that you controlled?

Do you feel or think that the difference in ratio or proportion of trips to journeys indicates anything about your life so far?

Later in this book this information will be useful to determine your style of life traveling.

What are key things you have discovered or learned so far about your life traveling?

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The bus is leaving let’s not miss it.  

It is time to move onto the next chapter.

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